Dead Asleep

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I need to sleep with you tonight.”

Wonderful Wife: “No, back to your bed.”

LMT: “But I don’t sleep well in my bed!”

WW: “Just this morning I asked you how you slept, and you said OK.”

LMT: “Yeah, only OK. That just means I didn’t die.”

Nap Credit

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “What do we do now?”

Me: “It’s 8:00 pm on a school night. You’re going to bed.”

LMT: “No.”

Me: “Pardon me?”

LMT: “I don’t have to go to bed yet. I took a nap yesterday.”

Me: “That doesn’t count.”

LMT: “But I’m pumped!”

Me: …

LMT: “That means I have lots of energy.”

Me: “I know what it means, and you still have to go to bed.”

(long pause)

LMT: “Life isn’t fair.”

Me: “You have no idea.”