Humdinger

Little Miss Thing, age 7: (singing loudly) “OH SUSANNA! DON’T YOU CRY FOR ME! CAUSE I COME FROM ALABAMA, EATING JUNK FOOD ALL FOR FREE!”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “That’s not how it goes.”

(giggling)

LMT: “Second verse, same as the first! Little bit louder, little bit worse! OH SUSANNA! DON’T YOU CRY…”

DM: “PLEASE STOP SINGING THAT SONG!”

(long pause)

LMT: (humming)

DM: “Please stop humming that song!”

(long pause)

LMT: (whistling)

DM: “Please stop whistling that song.”

(long pause)

LMT: (tapping rhythm) (giggling)

DM: “Please stop tapping out that song.”

(long pause)

LMT: (snapping fingers) (giggling)

DM: “Please stop snapping your fingers to that song.”

(everyone giggling)

(long pause)

LMT: (wiggling chair to make it squeak rhythmically)

DM: “Please stop squeaking that song.”

(much giggling)

(long pause)

LMT: (leaves and returns)

LMT: (playing toilet paper tube like a kazoo)

DM: “Please stop playing that song on a toilet paper tube.”

Me: “OK, you gotta give her credit for creativity.”

(much laughter)

(much love)

Demerits

My Oldest, age 16: (singing)

Danger Monkey, age 10: “That song’s annoying. Stop singing.”

MO: (sings louder)

DM: “OK, then you lose 10 points.”

MO: “What points?”

DM: “You just lost 10 points for your House.”

MO: “I don’t care.”

DM: “Minus 10 more points for not caring.”

MO: (rolls eyes)

Me: “You know, Son, we’re all in the same house. Taking away points from your family members doesn’t really make much sense.”

DM: (long pause)

DM: “Minus 10 points for Dad.”