Me: “OK now, we’re in a hospital, so I need you two to behave like you have some common sense.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “We have lots of common sense.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “We just choose to ignore it sometimes.”
Tag: She’s Not Wrong
Well Oiled
Me: “Man, I just love old country diners like this. I mean, look at the staff zipping around and sharing tasks. This place runs like a well-oiled machine.”
Wonderful Wife: “Well, there’s definitely enough grease to oil a machine.”
Career Coach
My Oldest, age 15: “I’ve decided I want to have my own business when I grow up.”
Me: “That’s a great goal. Why are you driving so slowly here? It’s 55. You can go faster.”
Oldest: “I’m not sure what type of business yet.”
Me: “There’s plenty of time to choose an area of expertise. Careful… Careful… The road gets really narrow up ahead.”
Oldest: “Maybe I’ll go to business school.”
Me: “Watch out for that guy in that little red car… OH NICE TURN SIGNAL JERK FACE!!!”
Oldest: “Are you OK? You’re not even the one driving.”
Me: “Whatever. You know, I’ve always dreamed of owning my own business.”
Oldest: “Really?”
Me: “Maybe I’ll open a driving school for all these bad drivers.”
Oldest: “I… uh… I don’t think that’s suited to your skillset.”
Very Vocal Viking 