Now Shoo

Wonderful Wife: “You need to be totally ready for the bus in five minutes. You don’t want to miss the bus on the first day of school.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “But, I AM totally ready.”

WW: “No, you’re not. Now go finish getting ready.”

LMT: “I AM READY!”

(long pause)

WW: “I recommend shoes and socks.”

LMT: (looks at bare feet)

LMT: “Oh, yeah.”

(runs off)

Find Purchase

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “When does school start again?”

Me: “A few weeks. Not long now.”

LMT: “Good!”

Me: “Good? Are you getting excited about starting up 3rd grade? It’s a very important time in your…”

LMT: “No, I’m excited about back to school shopping!”

Me: …

Overslept

(school office 9:00 am)

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “You have to fill out a tardy slip for me.”

Me: “OK, I seem to remember that from last time.”

LMT: “You should check ‘Overslept’ for the reason.”

Me: “Sure.”

LMT: (loudly) “He overslept, not me. I was ready and made my own breakfast.”

School Secretary: “Good for you, kiddo.”

LMT: “I had to wake him up. I think he’s sick.”

Me: “She doesn’t need all the ugly details.”

School Secretary: “I’ve heard a lot worse than that.”

Me: “I bet you have.”