No Chill

(dinner table)

Me: “I have a chore for someone.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Not me.”

Me: “It’s kind of important.”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “What is it?”

Me: “My email tells me a special package for Mom has been delivered to our mailbox. I’m hoping one of you will go get…”

DM: “I’ll get it!” (runs out front door)

Me: “… it after dinner.”

Me: …

LMT: “He didn’t even finish dinner.”

Me: “Your brother has no chill.”

LMT: “No chill at all.”

Saves laundry

Danger Monkey, age 8, sprinting through the house naked.

Me: “Why are you running naked?”

DM: “I just took a shower.”

Me: “Where is your towel?”

DM: “Don’t need one. I’m just running really fast until I dry off.”

Me: “Go for it.”