Got an Eyeful

Wonderful Wife: “Time to get your school backpack cleaned out. Let’s get it all put away. Everything in its place!”

(furious digging)

Danger Monkey, age 10: “Oh! I’ve been looking everywhere for this.”

WW: “What is it?”

DM: “My eye patch.”

WW: “Does that really belong in your school backpack?”

DM: “No.”

WW: “So… where does it go?”

DM: “Over my eye.”

WW: …

Deal with it

I think My Oldest Girl is dealing better with her upcoming heart surgery than I am. Which is not difficult to do, truth be told.

Last night she told me that if anyone asks about her scars, she’s going to tell them, “Up until recently, I was a pirate.” Second Runner Up is, “I get into a lot of knife fights.”