How You Like Them Apples

Me: “Do your homework soon.”

My Oldest, age 15: “Theres no hurry.”

Me: “Do your chores right away.”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “I have other stuff to do first.”

Me: “OK, well, I guess we can’t go to the orchard and get…”

Unison: “CARAMEL APPLES!!!”

(child-shaped dust clouds where children used to be standing)