Long Long Ago

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Who is that guy?”

Me: “What guy?”

LMT: “The guy in this picture with Grandma.”

Me: “That’s me, honey.”

LMT: “I don’t think so.”

Me: “It’s me, just a really long time ago.”

LMT: “Like, thirty five hundred years ago?”

Me: …

Me: “Pretty much.”

That Dude

I’m at a mall to pick up my daughter.

The mall is filled with teenagers.

All the stores are staffed by teenagers, except their managers, who are college kids. The security guard is maybe 25.

I hate all the stores and the music and the layout. Who designed this parking lot, Stevie Wonder?

I am the only one here that has heard of Stevie Wonder.

Dammit.

I’m totally That Old Dude At The Mall.

I never wanted to be that dude.

I always hated that dude