Serenity Now

My Oldest, age 15: “Since it’s after 11, it’s too late to watch a movie on Netflix.”

Me: “Really?”

Oldest: “So, instead… let’s watch the entire Firefly series… and the Firefly movie.”

Me: “I knew we were raising you right.”

Belize You Me

Danger Monkey, age 9: “Let’s go to Belize or the Florida Keys to see the Goliath Grouper.”

My Oldest, 15: “I would go to the Keys.”

Wonderful Wife: “I would love to go back to Venezuela and hit Belize, too.”

DM: “I vote for Belize. Where do you want to go, Daddy?”

Me: “Brunch.”

(loud commotion)

Danger Monkey, age 9: “Hey, I didn’t say GO yet!”

My Oldest, age 15: “Life has no start or stop buttons. I’m preparing you for real life. You’re welcome.”

DM: “Well, I don’t like it.”

Oldest: “No one does.”

Me: “You are bitter beyond your years.”

Oldest: “Thank you.”