Well, Actually

Gas Station Cashier Dude: “Are you a LARPer?”

Me: “What? Me? Well, yes, actually I…”

Dude: “You look like a LARPER to me. Do you think LARP combat favors smaller people?”

Me: “Well, actually it does tend…”

Dude: “What are you, like 6’6″?”

Me: “6’4″ actually.”

Tiny high school girl in line behind me: “You seem a lot taller than 6’4″ to me.”

Dude: “Do you know martial arts?”

Girl: “Your hair makes you look taller.”

Me: “I need to go. Kids… car… leaving now…”

(awkward run-stumble to car, slam door behind me)

My Oldest, age 14: “Whats wrong?”

Me: “Remind me to never stop for gas in Martinsville. It’s an odd place.”

Once Upon a Martinsville Kroger

Some observations from the Martinsville Kroger tonight:

1) I should never, ever, ever shop after skipping lunch.

2) February 18th seems a little early for Easter candy.

3) I’m going to try $4.99 wine. I’m betting I can’t tell the difference.

4) I always park farther out in the lot to save the closer spots for elderly folks, but apparently my love of humanity ends at about 5 degrees Fahrenheit. You’re on your own, Grammy.

UPDATE: Yes, I can tell the difference between $4.99 wine and the good stuff. Blecch.