Gas Station Cashier Dude: “Are you a LARPer?”
Me: “What? Me? Well, yes, actually I…”
Dude: “You look like a LARPER to me. Do you think LARP combat favors smaller people?”
Me: “Well, actually it does tend…”
Dude: “What are you, like 6’6″?”
Me: “6’4″ actually.”
Tiny high school girl in line behind me: “You seem a lot taller than 6’4″ to me.”
Dude: “Do you know martial arts?”
Girl: “Your hair makes you look taller.”
Me: “I need to go. Kids… car… leaving now…”
(awkward run-stumble to car, slam door behind me)
My Oldest, age 14: “Whats wrong?”
Me: “Remind me to never stop for gas in Martinsville. It’s an odd place.”
Some observations from the Martinsville Kroger tonight:
1) I should never, ever, ever shop after skipping lunch.
2) February 18th seems a little early for Easter candy.
3) I’m going to try $4.99 wine. I’m betting I can’t tell the difference.
4) I always park farther out in the lot to save the closer spots for elderly folks, but apparently my love of humanity ends at about 5 degrees Fahrenheit. You’re on your own, Grammy.
UPDATE: Yes, I can tell the difference between $4.99 wine and the good stuff. Blecch.
That may be the first time anyone has ever worn a kilt in the Martinsville Kroger. That, or everyone in Martinsville just naturally have wide, staring eyes. Could be genetic or something. I don’t know.