Sounds Like Marriage

(I drop the salt)

Wonderful Wife: “That was sorta clumsy of you.”

Me: “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

WW: “You can’t just decide to not hear something.”

Me: “It is the sovereign right of all husbands to not hear anything we don’t want to hear.

It’s been that way since marriage was invented.”

WW: “That’s not how that works. That’s not how any of this works.”

(long pause)

Me: “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

Love and Marriage

Love is turning the water temperature way down in your shower because you know your wife is going to take a shower right after you.

Marriage is your wife announcing, after your cold shower, that she’ll just take a shower later when there is more hot water.

Love is not getting mad about it.

Marriage is posting it all online anyway.