Little Miss Thing, age 5: “I want to swim in just shorts like boys.”
Wonderful Wife: “No, sorry. Girls have to wear tops.”
LMT: “Why?”
WW: “The Patriarchy says so. Which is just another reason to fight the Patriarchy.”
LMT: “Where is the Patriarchy? I want to talk to them.”
Me: “Oh, hey now! I love snuggles but be careful climbing on me. Boy’s crotches are pretty sensitive.”
Little Miss Thing, age 5: (punches me in the junk)
Me: “HEY! Why did you do that???”
LMT: (slow blink)
LMT: “I thought I saw a mosquito.”
Me: (glaring)
Danger Monkey, age 8: “I want to earn money while I sleep.”
Me: “Uh… OK. How do you plan to do that?”
DM: “Write a book and get it published and collect the money.”
Me: (Heart swells with pride)
Little Miss Thing, age 5: “Or you could learn to sleep walk and take money out of the bank.”
Me: (Glaring) “I’m watching you, sister.”
Very Vocal Viking 