I wish

Little Miss Thing just got glasses.

We’re going to pick them up, but I haven’t seen them yet. She tells me they are pink with black zebra stripes, with lasers and x-ray vision.

Part of me wishes she were telling the truth because those would be pretty awesome.

Twelve Step Program

Parent Project #78: Super glue repair on teenager’s broken glasses in 12 easy steps.

Time Required: 30 minutes.

Difficulty Level = Easy Peezy

1) Read online article and learn you are supposed to use pliers and toothpicks to keep from making a mess: Check.

2) Locate toothpicks and pliers: Check.

3) Clear and prep the work area: Check.

4) Put on a headlamp because I own a headlamp: Check.

5) Open super glue tube and immediately glue two fingers together: Check.

6) Accidentally glue three toothpicks to the pliers in shape of “W”: Check.

7) Glue fingers to pliers: Check.

8) Glue pliers to counter: Check.

9) Glue finger to headlamp: Check.

10) Realize you haven’t actually touched the glasses yet: Check.

11) Swear artfully: Check.

12) Drive to LensCrafters and buy new glasses: Check.