Just thought everyone should know that I recently learned that I’m a direct descendant of a famous Viking, Rollo Hrólfr, the first Duke of Normandy.
Here is my favorite part of his bio:
“The byname ‘Walker’ is usually understood to suggest that Rollo was so physically imposing that he could not be carried by a horse and was obliged to travel on foot.”
Sound like anyone you know?
Me: “I need two wrist bands for the boys here for your unlimited go-karts please.”
Counter Dude: “Is one riding with you, or both by themselves?”
Me: “No, none for me. I’m too big.”
Dude: “Nah, our karts are nice and big. Kids ride with adults all the time.”
Me: “No, I’m too big.”
Dude: “Seriously, see the sign… weight limit is 350. That means they can hold up to 350 lbs and still move pretty good. As long as you and the kid don’t weigh over 350 together, you should be fine.”
Me: “No, I’m saying that I weigh over 350 lbs all by myself.”
Dude: “Whoa. Really?”
Me: “Story of my life, man.”
My Oldest, age 13: “No offense, but I’ll never bring dates to this house. They’ll take one look at Daddy and say, ‘It’s not you – it’s me.’ And run away.”