Long John Shivers

Please, keep me in your prayers. I’m battling a very serious physical condition. I… I just had… Long John Silvers.

Yes, I know better, but I had a moment of weakness that I will now pay for in hours of agony.

In honor of my semi-annual memorial trip to Long John Silver’s House of Pain and Poor Decisions (oh god kill me now), I propose a set of new slogans:

1) Long John Silver’s — where every meal is served with a free side of regret.

2) Try us again! Yes, we’re still using the same grease! No, not the same type of oil… the exact same batch of grease.

3) Hey… You loved it when you were a kid. Come find out how much smarter you are now. Or aren’t, apparently.

4) Long John Silver’s — because, frankly, what’s more exciting than not knowing if you’re going to make it through the night?

Black hearted

My Oldest, age 13: “Why do they call it Black Friday.”

Me: “Because it’s a dark, dark day in our calendar.”

Oldest: “I think you just made that up.”

Me: “Doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

Daddy Training

Lunch with the kids at that crazy pizza place.

A cool electric train runs on tracks in the walls to your table and brings you drinks… AWESOME.

Each booth has a coin-operated TV that shows cartoons… AWESOME.

The food… barely edible.Oh, the humanity.

The prices… Did I mention there is a cool train?

Making memories… Priceless.