Stay Calm and Ask Mom

(setting up workstation)

Me: “Oh, CRAP.”

Wonderful Wife: “What’s wrong dear?”

Me: “CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP”

WW: “Is there a problem?”

Me: “I have to setup my work PC so I can work from here but I can’t connect to wi-fi and my laptop isn’t’ connecting because wi-fi says Limited and I have to figure this out or I’ll have to drive home or something but the wi-fi is too weak so maybe I’ll setup on the back porch or maybe I have to go find a Starbucks but that really messes up my plans and this is just not working out and I think I’m going to lose my…”

WW: “OR… use the hard wired internet connection right here with this LAN cable hanging out of it.”

Me: (slow blink)

Me: “That could work.”

Worst EVAR

So we’ve walked on the moon, and the Internet puts all the world at our fingertips, and credit cards now have more on-board memory than my first computer did.

Yet, my printer won’t print a black and white document because it’s out of yellow ink?

WORST INFORMATION AGE EVER.

Schooled

My Oldest, age 14: “Some of these snarky Internet videos are actually informational.”

Me: “Yeah, right. Ha. Ha. Very funny.”

Oldest: “No, really. Like ‘The History of Japan’. It’s hilarious and rude, but I learned about how the US forces invaded Japan under Matthew Perry, and…”

Me: “MATTHEW Perry? Hahahahaha! Chandler Bing invaded Japan? Hahahahaha”

Oldest: “What?”

Me: “I think you meant Commodore Perry.”

Oldest: “Yes, Commodore Matthew Perry.”

Me: “Wait… his name was Matthew?”

Oldest: “Maybe you should watch more Internet videos.”