Me: “Good morning. Is this where you sell convention t-shirts, here at the registration desk?”

Nice Registration Lady: “Yes it is! Would you like one?”

Me: “Yes, please. I’d like to buy a 5XL, or as I like to call it — Viking Medium.”

NRL: “So then what’s 4XL called –Delicate Little Flower?”

Me: “I like that. I like that a lot. You’d make a Badass Lady Viking.”

NRL: “That’s the 3XL.”

Me: (long pause)

Me: “You just really get me.”