Tag: Father-Son Talk

Nice Chatting With You Son

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Danger Monkey, age 10: “I made up a game today. What type of animal do you want to be: feline, canine, marine, reptile…”

Me: “No, wait. No game yet. I’d rather talk first.”

DM: “Talk about what?”

Me: “About your day.”

DM: “Like what?”

Me: “I don’t know. Who’s your best friend? What are you studying lately? How much homework do you have? What’s your favorite thing that happened today?”

DM: “Ben, the Civil Rights Movement, a lot, Recess. Now, what type of animal would you like to be: feline, canine, marine, reptile, bird, human, or marsupial?”

Me: (slow blink)

Me: “Canine.”

Elf Confidence

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“Son, we need to have a serious Father-Son talk.”

“Yes?”

“You see, my son, you are a young man with certain… unique options.”

“Like what?”

“In life, there are some things that many people want to do, but simply cannot.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Have you heard of Legolas?”

“Sorta. He’s an elf, right?”

“Yes. And thousands… millions of men would love to cosplay as Legolas. You are one of the very few people who could really pull it off.”

“Why?”

(produces pictures of Legolas)

“Wow! He looks just like me!”

“Yes, he does. If you were to cosplay as Legolas at conventions, you would get a lot of attention. A LOT of attention.”

“Why?”

“Many, many women – and girls – think Legolas is one of the most attractive movie characters ever.”

“Hmmm.”

(ponders)

“I don’t think I want that kind of attention.”

“Someday you will, Son. Someday. But I wanted to make sure you know it’s an option.”

“OK, sure. This year I want to just be a regular elf.”

“Sounds good, buddy.”