My Oldest, age 14: “Some of these snarky Internet videos are actually informational.”

Me: “Yeah, right. Ha. Ha. Very funny.”

Oldest: “No, really. Like ‘The History of Japan’. It’s hilarious and rude, but I learned about how the US forces invaded Japan under Matthew Perry, and…”

Me: “MATTHEW Perry? Hahahahaha! Chandler Bing invaded Japan? Hahahahaha”

Oldest: “What?”

Me: “I think you meant Commodore Perry.”

Oldest: “Yes, Commodore Matthew Perry.”

Me: “Wait… his name was Matthew?”

Oldest: “Maybe you should watch more Internet videos.”


Knowledge is Power

Wonderful Wife: “We’re going swimming at the Lake!”

Me: “Better be careful of the sharks.”

Little Miss Thing, age 4 : “REALLY??!!?”

Danger Monkey, age 7: “Sharks live in salt water. The Lake is fresh water. There are no sharks.”

Me: “Don’t make me regret giving you all those science books.”