Necessary Risks

(long wait in exam room at pediatrician)

Me: “So this Well Visit flyer says boys around age 10 may start taking unnecessary risks.”

(boy jumps off exam table onto his face)

Danger Monkey, age 10: “Owww.”

Me: “I have no idea what they are talking about.”

(boy rides rolling exam stool into wall with his face)

DM: “I don’t know, either.”

(boy climbs wall, hits face on window sill as he falls)

Me: “Yeah, it’s a big mystery.”

Little Old Lunch Quiz

Podiatrist office. Tiny, ancient couple. She’s bent over a clip board, writing, as he sits at her elbow.

Her: “Are you still 88?”

Him: “What?”

Her: “ARE YOU STILL 88?”

Him: “I already ate.”

Her: (pause) “Yep, still 88… and still deaf.”

Him: “Why does a foot doctor want to know if I ate lunch?”

Her: “Oh, go back to sleep.”