(long wait in exam room at pediatrician)
Me: “So this Well Visit flyer says boys around age 10 may start taking unnecessary risks.”
(boy jumps off exam table onto his face)
Danger Monkey, age 10: “Owww.”
Me: “I have no idea what they are talking about.”
(boy rides rolling exam stool into wall with his face)
DM: “I don’t know, either.”
(boy climbs wall, hits face on window sill as he falls)
Me: “Yeah, it’s a big mystery.”
After weeks of pain and now a 2-hour exam involving poking, pulling, twisting, squatting and numerous x-rays, I finally have a medical diagnosis for my lower back problems.
Apparently, I’m overweight and I drive too much.
Thank you science!
Podiatrist office. Tiny, ancient couple. She’s bent over a clip board, writing, as he sits at her elbow.
Her: “Are you still 88?”
Her: “ARE YOU STILL 88?”
Him: “I already ate.”
Her: (pause) “Yep, still 88… and still deaf.”
Him: “Why does a foot doctor want to know if I ate lunch?”
Her: “Oh, go back to sleep.”