Exports

My Oldest, age 14: “What is Indiana’s largest export?”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “Corn.”

Wonderful Wife: “Probably corn.”

Me: “Stupid people.”

Glue-Away

Boy, age 9: “Do we have any Glue-Away?”

Me: “What is Glue-Away?”

Boy: “It’s a substance that you rub all over your hands that gets the glue off.”

Wife: “Yes, it’s called soap. Try it with warm water.”

Me: “Listen to this sick beat.” (drumming on the steering wheel)

Danger Monkey, age 9: “Keep your hands firmly on the wheel at 10 and 2.”

Me: “Who are you, my mother?”

DM: “No, I just want you to not kill us.”

Me: “OK that’s valid. A little judgey, but valid.”