Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Why do you call us different names all the time?”

Me: “They’re just silly nicknames.”

LMT: “Why do they change every day?”

Me: “OK, how about permanent nicknames. You are now… Treet, the magical puppy.”

LMT: “Yay!”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “I’m a telekinetic cat.”

Me: “No, I have to give it to you.”

DM: “Then make me a telekinetic cat.”

Me: “No, your name is… Rutherford… and you are a… telekinetic… uh… turnip.”

DM: “Can I be a shape-changing telekinetic turnip?”

Me: “Yes, you are now a shape-changing, telekinetic turnip named Rutherford.”

DM: “I change into a cat.”

Me: (slow blink)

Me: “Son, you may be better at this game than I am.”