Danger Monkey, age 10: “Are you making that sandwich that’s all the gross things mixed up and named after a guy?”
Me: “Yes, this is a Reuben. It’s very delicious.”
DM: “It’s disgusting! How can you eat that?”
Me: “Sorry you feel that way.”
DM: “So gross.”
Me: “Hey, more for me. And if you don’t like it, that’s fine but I’m going to ask that you don’t sit there making fun of my sandwich.”
DM: (long pause)
DM: “Can I have some?”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “Let’s play 20 questions. Try to guess what I’m thinking.”
Me: “Is it bigger than a breadbox?”
DM: “It can take any shape.”
Me: …
Me: “It can’t be a fictional character in a book that only you’ve read.”
DM: …
DM: “I only want to play if mythical creatures are included.”
Me: “OK, maybe I should go first. Try to guess what I’m thinking.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Is it on your face?”
Me: …
Me: “Maybe we should just go back to quietly reading for the rest of the drive.”
LMT: “I thought of something.”
Me: “OK, is it a place or a person?”
LMT: “It’s something you can go into.”
Me: “Is it a building?”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Yes.”
Me: “Is it a business?”
LMT: “Mmm… not sure.”
Me: “Well, does it have employees?”
LMT: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Do they sell things?”
LMT: “I don’t know.”
Me: …
Me: “Then I guess I give up.”
LMT: “It’s a bank.”
Me: “Honey, banks have employees inside them.”
LMT: “How am I supposed to know what goes on in there?”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “Jump left, Dad!”
Me: “Son…”
DM: “Go over that rock!”
Me: “Son…”
DM: “Get the box!”
(pauses game)
Me: “OK, Son. Let’s talk about the correct amount of help to offer someone when they’re playing a video game.”
DM: “You don’t want help?”
Me: “How about you work on the skill of NOT shouting out every single thing you want to shout.”
DM: …
DM: “I don’t think I’ve spent many skill points in that area.”
Very Vocal Viking 