Danger Monkey, age 10: “This math problem is really frustrating.”
Me: “Can I help you with it?”
DM: “No, it’s OK. I understand the math, but the story problem is all wrong.”
Me: “Those can be tough.”
DM: “There’s no way 15 kids chose Fettuccine Alfredo over pizza or tacos.”
Me: (long pause)
Me: “I’m so glad I get to be your Dad.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Why are they called hamburgers? They aren’t made of ham.”
Me: “I believe they’re named after Hamburg, Germany.”
LMT: “Check it on Wikipedia.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “Wikipedia is not always correct. Be sure to verify the sources.”
Me: “Yes, says here the name comes from Hamburg. Also, frankfurters are named after Frankfurt.”
DM: “Huh? What’s a frankfurter?”
Me: “Thats an old-fashioned name for hot dogs. Also, the word ‘weiner’ comes from the German pronunciation of Vienna. Have you guys ever heard of weiners?”
(so much giggling)
Me: “I guess I walked right into that one.”
What my kids learned today:
1) That blinking red light means the engine is almost totally out of oil.
2) When stopping at a gas station to buy oil, always ask the cashier for a free paper funnel.
3) When carrying several oil bottles and a free paper funnel on a windy day, hold on tightly.
4) When the free paper funnel goes blowing across the parking lot and into the street, always send your son back inside to get another one so you don’t have to admit you dropped the first one.
5) After removing the engine oil cap, be careful to set it in a safe place. Never place it on the engine block.
6) When the oil cap slides off the engine block and down into the guts of the engine compartment, Daddy will say bad words.
7) It is very hard to dislodge an oil cap from the guts of an engine compartment, even with a very large Viking jumping up and down on the front bumper.
8) The residents of small Midwestern towns are not accustomed to seeing very large Vikings jumping up and down on bumpers.
9) In emergencies, you can jam a wad of paper towels into the oil cap hole and drive three blocks to Autozone.
10) A replacement oil cap costs $8.89, plus tax and a good bit of your pride.
Very Vocal Viking 