Me: “How is that pizza place still in business?”

My Oldest, age 15: “Well, I like it.”

Me: “No, seriously, it’s horrible. Unless you enjoy eating overly garlicked grease drizzled over stale doughy crust.”

Oldest: “Exactly. It’s delicious.”

Me: “Consider yourself disowned.”

Oldest: “Maybe my new family will have better taste in pizza.”