Demerits

My Oldest, age 16: (singing)

Danger Monkey, age 10: “That song’s annoying. Stop singing.”

MO: (sings louder)

DM: “OK, then you lose 10 points.”

MO: “What points?”

DM: “You just lost 10 points for your House.”

MO: “I don’t care.”

DM: “Minus 10 more points for not caring.”

MO: (rolls eyes)

Me: “You know, Son, we’re all in the same house. Taking away points from your family members doesn’t really make much sense.”

DM: (long pause)

DM: “Minus 10 points for Dad.”

 

Time Out

PARENTING TIP #228:

When your kids are at their worst, I find timeouts are the best solution.

It’s important to firm, and define a consistent spot, like a corner or the bottom step of stairs. Also, a good rule of thumb is one minute per year of age.

Though, to be fair, I have no idea what my kids do while I’m in timeout.

That’s their problem, really.