My Oldest, age 16: “What is all that noise upstairs? Those kids were tucked in an hour ago. How can you not hear all that stomping? Are they having a dance party? Please tell me you can hear that.”

Me: “If I hear it, then I have to do something about it. Do you want to do something about it?”

(long pause)

My Oldest: “You’re right. I can’t hear a thing.”