Me: “You have to clean up all those art supplies before you can do anything else.”
Little Miss Thing, age 5: “ANYTHING?”
Me: “Yes, anything.”
LMT: “Can we blink?”
Danger Monkey, age 8: “I hope we can breathe.”
Me: “Just clean it up.”
DM: “My cells are all moving around.”
LMT: “Can we poop?” (much giggling)
Me: “You’ve goofed around for three hours, so now there is no way you can possibly get all your chores done by the deadline (in 40 minutes). You have to shower, clean your room, make your lunch, and practice piano. Are you even going to try, or just lose your allowance?”
Danger Monkey, age 8: “There is no try: Do or do not. And I choose to do it.”
Wonderful Wife: “I could not be prouder of your attitude right now.”
Me: (as he runs upstairs) “But you still have to actually do it.”
Danger Monkey, age 7, while angrily doing his chores:
“FINE! I’ll just go to sleep and see if next year is better!”
Very Vocal Viking 