Hammer Time

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Can you help me find a hammer?”

Me: “Sure, honey. Where did you last see it?”

LMT: “In the back yard.”

Me: “Can you be more speciific?”

LMT: “Behind the woodpile.”

Me: “Behind the woodpile is just a giant mess of thorns and 7 foot weeds. How did a hammer get back there?”

LMT: “I threw it.”

Me: “And you want me to help you find it, after you threw it into the weeds.”

LMT: “Yes.”

Me: “What does the hammer look like?”

LMT: “Green.”

Me: “Of course it is.”


Danger Monkey, age 9: “Hey Dad!”

Me: “Whats up, son?”

DM: “You won’t believe it! We found a place in the woods that’s super soggy like a swamp. And it’s covered in these huge briars that scrape your skin really bad. And you have to crawl on your belly in the mud just to get through.”

Me: “Then why are you crawling through it?”

DM: “It’s our new clubhouse! It’s PERFECT!” (runs off)