Danger Monkey, age 8: “I want to earn money while I sleep.”

Me: “Uh… OK. How do you plan to do that?”

DM: “Write a book and get it published and collect the money.”

Me: (Heart swells with pride)

Little Miss Thing, age 5: “Or you could learn to sleep walk and take money out of the bank.”

Me: (Glaring) “I’m watching you, sister.”