Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Does the syrup bottle go in the fridge or the cabinet?”
Me: “Does the label say refrigerate after opening?”
LMT: (reading) “Yes!”
Me: “Then it goes in the fridge.”
[20 minutes later]
Me: “Why is the syrup bottle in the fridge with the cap off???”
LMT: “It says to put it in with the cap off.”
Me: “It says… what?”
LMT: (pointing to label) “See… Refrigerate after opening.”
Me: (slow blink) “You’re absolutely right.”
Just found out tonight that my wife and kids have never seen Jumanji. We are currently fixing that. Thank you, Netflix. I am concerned the neighbors will complain about the screams of laughter coming from our living room.
Me: “Now that I’m losing some weight, I think maybe I’ll start lifting weights again. If I got a little definition in my shoulders and arms, I’d consider some Viking tattoos.”
Wonderful Wife: “What kind of weights? I’ll go buy them right now.”
Me: “I’ll take that as supporting my goals.”
WW: “Let’s go now. Here’s my debit card.”
Very Vocal Viking 