Words cannot describe the looks of panic and terror on the faces of the nail salon staff when I walked in, all giant 6’4″ and long hair and beard. Nor can I describe their looks of incredible relief when I explain I’m just there to pick up the tiny white sandals my daughter left there earlier in the day. I really should have a camera running everywhere I go.
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Top 5
Me: “I love you, kiddo. You’re definitely one of my favorite children.”
My Oldest, age 14: “Well, you’re in my top five favorite parents.”
Me: “Good, I’m glad to… wait, wha…?”
Hey, you
Friends are visiting.
Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Hey, you!”
My Friend Dave: “Me?”
LMT: “Yes. You should help me find the remote to turn up the TV because your baby is being really loud.”
Dave: “OK, that’s fair, actually.”