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Twelve Step Program

VeryVocalVikingLeave a comment

Parent Project #78: Super glue repair on teenager’s broken glasses in 12 easy steps.

Time Required: 30 minutes.

Difficulty Level = Easy Peezy

1) Read online article and learn you are supposed to use pliers and toothpicks to keep from making a mess: Check.

2) Locate toothpicks and pliers: Check.

3) Clear and prep the work area: Check.

4) Put on a headlamp because I own a headlamp: Check.

5) Open super glue tube and immediately glue two fingers together: Check.

6) Accidentally glue three toothpicks to the pliers in shape of “W”: Check.

7) Glue fingers to pliers: Check.

8) Glue pliers to counter: Check.

9) Glue finger to headlamp: Check.

10) Realize you haven’t actually touched the glasses yet: Check.

11) Swear artfully: Check.

12) Drive to LensCrafters and buy new glasses: Check.

That escalated quickly

VeryVocalVikingLeave a comment

My Oldest, age 13: “I’m thirsty.”

Me: “You’re dehydrated. You should drink more water.”

Oldest: “I WOULD drink more water but my school is run by water Nazis. And girls have to wear sleeves. God forbid we wear short shorts, but that’s all that Target sells. Seriously. Middle school is like Communist China but with homework.”