Me: “Breakfast time, kids.”
(silence)
Me: “Please come downstairs, kids.”
(silence)
Me: “Fresh eggs and bacon.”
(silence)
Me: “We also need to finish up all those leftover do…”
(three children instantly appear at breakfast table)
“…nuts.”
Category: Things My Kids Say
No reason
Little Miss Thing, age 6: “He’s stealing it!”
Me: “Stop. Why are you taking her thing?”
Danger Monkey, age 9: “Uh… because I wanted to.”
Me: “Hey, just a thought… please go get your most prized possession and stand next to me. No reason. Completely unrelated.”
DM: “No thank you. I think I learned my lesson.”
How You Like Them Apples
Me: “Do your homework soon.”
My Oldest, age 15: “Theres no hurry.”
Me: “Do your chores right away.”
Danger Monkey, age 9: “I have other stuff to do first.”
Me: “OK, well, I guess we can’t go to the orchard and get…”
Unison: “CARAMEL APPLES!!!”
(child-shaped dust clouds where children used to be standing)
Very Vocal Viking 