Wonderful Wife: “So kids, did you enjoy the cookout and playing with your cousins?”
Danger Monkey, age 9: “I learned how to play Magic The Gathering. Do you know where I can buy Magic cards?”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I learned two new swear words.”
WW: (jaw drop)
Me: “Best party ever.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: (holding plush rabbit) “Mr. Flops loves you, Daddy.”
Me: “How is my Grand-Bunny today?”
LMT: “He’s not your grandchild. I got him from the shelter.”
Me: “If you adopted him and love him, then he’s most definitely my grandchild, and I love him all the same.”
(pause)
LMT: “Hug attack!” (throws bunny in my face)
Me: “Oww!”
LMT: “Sorry. He’s just happy to have a family.”
My Oldest, age 16: “What is all that noise upstairs? Those kids were tucked in an hour ago. How can you not hear all that stomping? Are they having a dance party? Please tell me you can hear that.”
Me: “If I hear it, then I have to do something about it. Do you want to do something about it?”
(long pause)
My Oldest: “You’re right. I can’t hear a thing.”
Very Vocal Viking 