My Oldest, age 15: “Can I drive home?”
Me: “Sure.”
MO: (starts engine)
MO: “Bwahaha! We’re going to Dairy Queen and there’s nothing you can do about it! I’m in control now! You have to go where I want to go!”
(long silence)
MO: “You’re still going to pay, right?”
Me: “Let’s try something different tonight.”
My Oldest, age 15: “Nope.”
Me: “Awww, why not? We can’t always go to the same three restaurants.”
Oldest: “Uh. Yes we can.”
Me: “Where’s your spirit of adventure?”
Oldest: “There’s a reason we go to the same three restaurants. They’re good. If you want to try Uncle Stinky’s Barbeque & Foot Spa, do it on your own time.”
Me: …
Me: “That place sounds awesome.”
Oldest: “And… there’s your problem.”
My Oldest, Age 15: (climbing into car) “What took you so long? I almost froze to death.”
Me: “Sorry. But, let’s be clear, I was only five minutes late.”
Oldest: “Except it’s February and now I have frostbite.”
Me: “Well, you would have been fine if you had a sweater or coat on.”
Oldest: “Yeah, like that’s my fault.”
Me: …
Very Vocal Viking 