Category: Parenting

Odd Piñata

VeryVocalViking1 Comment

Me: “Let’s have eggs for dinner.”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “Yes! And refried beans. And hot sauce!”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I don’t like refried beans.”

Me: “OK, no refried beans.”

DM: “I call dibs on your refried beans.”

Me: “You can’t have hers. We’ll just make something else.”

DM: “But I called dibs on your beans.”

Me: “I’m going to dibs you upside the dibs.”

DM: “I called dibs on your dibs ad infin-AH-tum.”

(long pause)

Me: “That phrase is ‘ad infinitum’, and since when are you slinging Latin phrases at me?”

LMT: “It sounded like Odd Piñata to me.”

Me: “No, it’s ad infinitum, and it means something lasts forever.”

(long pause)

LMT: “Can I still have an Odd Piñata?”

That’s Fair

VeryVocalVikingLeave a comment

(at the county fair)

Me: “OK, I told you we could see the rabbits before we go home. Here are the rabbits.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: (squee) “They are so cute!”

Me: “Yes. Very cute.”

LMT: (incoherent giggly talking to rabbit noises)

LMT: “Daddy, do you think these rabbits are pettable?”

Me: “No, Honey. We can’t pet the rabbits.”

LMT: (pets rabbit)

LMT: “Nope. You were wrong.”

I’ll Take a Shot

VeryVocalViking2 Comments

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Why are we taking down all our glasses?”

Me: “Mom’s renovating the kitchen counter tops, so we need to move all the stuff out of here.”

LMT: “Why?”

Me: “So all our stuff doesn’t get dusty.”

LMT: “What are those?’

Me: “Wine glasses.”

LMT: “What are they for?”

Me: “Drinking wine.”

LMT: “Why are they so round?”

Me: “Well, I’m not totally sure, but I read once that the curved shape allows the smell to concentrate, which helps it taste better while you drink it slowly and savor it.”

LMT: “What are those?”

Me: “Champagne flutes.”

LMT: “Why are they so long and straight?”

Me: “I don’t know. Maybe because champagne is bubbly and you tend to just drink small amounts.”

LMT: “What are those?”

Me: “What? Oh, these are shot glasses.”

LMT: “What are those for?”

Me: (long pause)

Me: “These are for when you’re only going to drink a tiny bit because you know it’s not healthy to drink too much alcohol.”

LMT: “I like those. I want to drink out of those.”

Me: “Not ’til college.”