Wonderful Wife: “You need to be totally ready for the bus in five minutes. You don’t want to miss the bus on the first day of school.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “But, I AM totally ready.”
WW: “No, you’re not. Now go finish getting ready.”
LMT: “I AM READY!”
(long pause)
WW: “I recommend shoes and socks.”
LMT: (looks at bare feet)
LMT: “Oh, yeah.”
(runs off)
(at county fair)
Me: “Here, shake some salt on Mom’s corn on the cob.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I’m a good shaker.”
Me: “Yes, you have mad skills. Now salt the other side.”
LMT: “NO! DON’T TURN IT OVER!”
Me: “Honey, we have to turn it over so you can salt that side, too.”
LMT: “I can do it.”
Me: “No, you can’t shake salt up.”
LMT: “I can do it. Watch.”
(violent shaking in upward motion)
(seventeen grains of salt eventually hit the corn)
LMT: “I told you.”
Me: “I should have never doubted you.”
(at county fair)
Me: “Alright, let’s go to the booth back in the corner with all the crazy desserts.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “No, I’m not ready for ice cream yet.”
Me: “Well, maybe it’s not for you. I’m going to get a funnel cake.”
LMT: “I hate funnel cake.”
(side eye)
Me: “I don’t think you actually hate funnel cake. I think you just don’t remember how awesome it is. I’m definitely going to share it, so you are welcome to try some.”
LMT: “You’re going to share it with who?”
Me: “With WHOM.”
LMT: “I don’t know! That’s why I’m asking you!”
Very Vocal Viking 