To Whom It Concerns

August 2, 2017July 30, 2017 VeryVocalViking1 Comment

(at county fair)

Me: “Alright, let’s go to the booth back in the corner with all the crazy desserts.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “No, I’m not ready for ice cream yet.”

Me: “Well, maybe it’s not for you. I’m going to get a funnel cake.”

LMT: “I hate funnel cake.”

(side eye)

Me: “I don’t think you actually hate funnel cake. I think you just don’t remember how awesome it is. I’m definitely going to share it, so you are welcome to try some.”

LMT: “You’re going to share it with who?”

Me: “With WHOM.”

LMT: “I don’t know! That’s why I’m asking you!”

I’ll Take a Shot

July 25, 2017July 24, 2017 VeryVocalViking2 Comments

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Why are we taking down all our glasses?”

Me: “Mom’s renovating the kitchen counter tops, so we need to move all the stuff out of here.”

LMT: “Why?”

Me: “So all our stuff doesn’t get dusty.”

LMT: “What are those?’

Me: “Wine glasses.”

LMT: “What are they for?”

Me: “Drinking wine.”

LMT: “Why are they so round?”

Me: “Well, I’m not totally sure, but I read once that the curved shape allows the smell to concentrate, which helps it taste better while you drink it slowly and savor it.”

LMT: “What are those?”

Me: “Champagne flutes.”

LMT: “Why are they so long and straight?”

Me: “I don’t know. Maybe because champagne is bubbly and you tend to just drink small amounts.”

LMT: “What are those?”

Me: “What? Oh, these are shot glasses.”

LMT: “What are those for?”

Me: (long pause)

Me: “These are for when you’re only going to drink a tiny bit because you know it’s not healthy to drink too much alcohol.”

LMT: “I like those. I want to drink out of those.”

Me: “Not ’til college.”