Wonderful Wife: “So kids, did you enjoy the cookout and playing with your cousins?”
Danger Monkey, age 9: “I learned how to play Magic The Gathering. Do you know where I can buy Magic cards?”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I learned two new swear words.”
WW: (jaw drop)
Me: “Best party ever.”
Guy: “Enjoying the party?”
Me: “Yeah, this is really…”
Guy: “Have you ever been asked to play a Viking in a movie or on TV? You could totally play a viking.”
Me: “Actually, friends send me lots of links of casting calls for…”
Guy: “You really look like a Viking. No offense.”
Me: “None taken, I totally embrace it.”
Guy: “You should have a TV show or something.”
Me: “I have a blog, Very Vocal Viking.”
Guy: “What? Seriously? That’s great.”
Me: “It’s not about Vikings though. Just funny things my kids say and my thoughts on life.”
Guy: “I’d read that.”
Me: “Hey… Whats the deal with the writing all down the inside of your leg? That looks like a whole paragraph.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “It’s the rules for the new role playing game I’m creating.”
Me: “OK, that sounds cool, but why write on your leg?”
DM: “I ran out of room on my arms.” (pulls up sleeves)
Me: “Good god, son. That’s a lot of ink. Why are you writing all over your skin?”
DM: (puzzled look)
DM: “It’s the only paper that’s always with me.”
(long pause)
Me: “Can’t argue with that. Carry on.”
Very Vocal Viking 