Category: Food & Recipes

Location, Location, Location

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Me: “How was your role playing game?”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “Awesome! In the game I built a giant robot that’s 45 stories tall and I can make it do anything from the control room in his head.”

Me: “Cool. How do you get to a control room that’s 45 stories up?”

DM: “It has stairs inside.”

Me: “Wow! What a climb.”

DM: “It’s OK. I installed a lemonade stand about half way up.”

Me: “That’s — very creative.”

DM: “It also serves hot chocolate and Caprese salad.”

Me: (long pause)

Me: “You’re a pretty amazing guy, you know?”

DM: “Yeah, I know.”

Oh I’m Sure

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(arriving at Chinese buffet)

Young Hostess: “How many in your party tonight?”

Me: “Just me, but I promise to eat a lot.”

YH: “Oh, I’m sure.”

Me: (chuckle)

YH: (eyes wide) “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it like… I wasn’t saying that you’re…”

Me: “It’s OK. I thought it was funny.”

YH: “Oh, thank God. Some people are really sensitive about stuff like that.”

Me: “It’s all good. I’m not sensitive like that.”

YH: “Good. You don’t look sensitive at all.”

Me: “Well, it’s good to know I don’t look sensitive.”

YH: “Oh God! I did it again! I didn’t mean it like that.”

Me: “It’s totally cool. I didn’t take it the wrong way.”

(long pause)

Me: “Can I have a table?”

YH: “Oh, right. Follow me.”

She’s Colorful

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(at restaurant, waiting for food)

Me: “Hey Honey, I bought ice cream earlier so we can have dessert at home tonight.”

Wonderful Wife: “Not until after chores. This one has lots of chores tonight, right kiddo?”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: (intently coloring place mat)

WW: “Someone put off all her chores until the last minute. Isn’t that right, young lady?”

LMT: (intently coloring place mat)

Me: “Did you not hear your Mom speaking to you?”

LMT: (intently coloring place mat)

Me: “She probably didn’t hear about the ice cream, either.”

LMT: “Of course I heard the part about ice cream. I’m only sitting like two feet away from you.”

Me: “So, you also heard the part about chores.”

LMT: (intently coloring place mat)