Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Mom, why are you a vegetarian?”
Wonderful Wife: “It’s a long story.”
LMT: “Tell me the whole thing.”
WW: “I don’t like the taste of meat.”
LMT: “That wasn’t a long story. That was only one sentence.”
WW: “It’s the short version.”
Me: “So, we’ll be in Montgomery around dinner time. Surely there’s somewhere fun and local we can eat?”
Wonderful Wife: “Hmm… this app shows what’s along our route. It looks like all chain restaurants. Oh, wait, this sounds great. What do you think of trying The Montgomery Biscuits?”
Me: “Uh, yeah! That sounds exactly like the type of awesome Southern food I was hoping to find! ”
WW: “Oh, and they even scored a 4.8 out of 5.0.”
Me: “WOW! We are totally eating there! Wait… better check their hours. They may close early on Sundays.”
WW: “Good idea. I’m Googling it right now… and…”
(hysterical laughter)
Me: “Are you OK, Honey? What’s wrong?”
WW: “We might want to keep looking. The Montgomery Biscuits is the minor league baseball team.”
Me: (slow blink)
Me: “Dinner is served.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “What is that? It’s all grey.”
Me: “Pork loin. It’s delicious.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I tried it but I don’t like it. I like meat that is more wet.”
Me: “Moist is the word we use there, and yes it’s a tiny bit overcooked. But it’s still delicious.”
DM: “I don’t like it.”
Me: “Can you try it before you hate it?”
DM: “Did you put any brown sugar on the sweet potatoes?”
Me: “Yes, lots.”
DM: “Not enough. They just taste like terrible orange potatoes.”
LMT: “I don’t like them either. They’re too soft. I like them hard and crunchy.”
Me: “You know…”
DM: “I’ll just make a PBJ.”
LMT: “Me too!”
Me: “Ingrates.”
DM: “What?”
Me: “I said… enjoy your PBJs.”
Very Vocal Viking 