Month: August 2017

To Whom It Concerns

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(at county fair)

Me: “Alright, let’s go to the booth back in the corner with all the crazy desserts.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “No, I’m not ready for ice cream yet.”

Me: “Well, maybe it’s not for you. I’m going to get a funnel cake.”

LMT: “I hate funnel cake.”

(side eye)

Me: “I don’t think you actually hate funnel cake. I think you just don’t remember how awesome it is. I’m definitely going to share it, so you are welcome to try some.”

LMT: “You’re going to share it with who?”

Me: “With WHOM.”

LMT: “I don’t know! That’s why I’m asking you!”

Odd Piñata

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Me: “Let’s have eggs for dinner.”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “Yes! And refried beans. And hot sauce!”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I don’t like refried beans.”

Me: “OK, no refried beans.”

DM: “I call dibs on your refried beans.”

Me: “You can’t have hers. We’ll just make something else.”

DM: “But I called dibs on your beans.”

Me: “I’m going to dibs you upside the dibs.”

DM: “I called dibs on your dibs ad infin-AH-tum.”

(long pause)

Me: “That phrase is ‘ad infinitum’, and since when are you slinging Latin phrases at me?”

LMT: “It sounded like Odd Piñata to me.”

Me: “No, it’s ad infinitum, and it means something lasts forever.”

(long pause)

LMT: “Can I still have an Odd Piñata?”