Little Miss Thing, age 7: (holding plush rabbit) “Mr. Flops loves you, Daddy.”
Me: “How is my Grand-Bunny today?”
LMT: “He’s not your grandchild. I got him from the shelter.”
Me: “If you adopted him and love him, then he’s most definitely my grandchild, and I love him all the same.”
(pause)
LMT: “Hug attack!” (throws bunny in my face)
Me: “Oww!”
LMT: “Sorry. He’s just happy to have a family.”
My Oldest, age 16: “What is all that noise upstairs? Those kids were tucked in an hour ago. How can you not hear all that stomping? Are they having a dance party? Please tell me you can hear that.”
Me: “If I hear it, then I have to do something about it. Do you want to do something about it?”
(long pause)
My Oldest: “You’re right. I can’t hear a thing.”
Wonderful Wife: “What’s for dinner?”
Me: “I want to eat out, but I’m too tired to go anywhere. Let’s have food delivered.”
WW: “Sure thing. What do you want?”
Me: “I want food delivered.”
WW: “Yeah, but what type of food.”
Me: “I want the type of food that shows up in front of me.”
WW: “Anything?”
Me: “I’m too tired to even choose.”
WW: “Wow. Are you up to chewing it yourself?”
Me: “I’ll struggle through it.”
WW: “You’re a real inspiration to us all.”
Me: “You’re welcome.”
Very Vocal Viking 