Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Look Daddy! I have a parachute!”
(holds six plastic grocery bags above her head)
Me: “How creative.”
LMT: “Let me get a running start. ”
Me: “Wait… wut…”
(runs past me, jumps off a couch, crumples to the ground)
Me: “Are you OK?”
(jumps to her feet)
LMT: (long pause)
LMT: “Nailed it.”
(school office 9:00 am)
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “You have to fill out a tardy slip for me.”
Me: “OK, I seem to remember that from last time.”
LMT: “You should check ‘Overslept’ for the reason.”
Me: “Sure.”
LMT: (loudly) “He overslept, not me. I was ready and made my own breakfast.”
School Secretary: “Good for you, kiddo.”
LMT: “I had to wake him up. I think he’s sick.”
Me: “She doesn’t need all the ugly details.”
School Secretary: “I’ve heard a lot worse than that.”
Me: “I bet you have.”
(at tuck-ins)
Me: “Hey, I’m thinking about writing a book that centers around a giant Viking Dad and all the crazy things his kids do.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “Cool. Will I be in it?”
Me: “Well, I’m thinking of making the family in the book kind of like our family but not exactly like our family, so that people can tell the difference between the book and real life.”
DM: “Like how?”
Me: “Actually, I’m thinking in the book the Viking Dad will have an older daughter and a younger daughter, but instead of one son, he’ll have two twin sons, both 10 years old.”
DM: “Hmm… Will they look like me and talk like me?”
Me: “A little, but not really. They’ll be fictional. I’m thinking one will love to be out in the woods and make forts, but the other one will just stay inside and read and play video games.”
DM: “That’s perfect! That’s like my two sides because I like both those things!”
Me: “Yeah, exactly. I thought you’d like that.”
DM: “Can the woods boy live in a tree house he built himself?”
Me: “That’s an option, I suppose. Really for now I’m wondering if you can help me come up with names for those two boys.”
DM: “Yes! Name them Shade and Shadow!”
Me: “Uh…”
DM: “No… even better – Blaze and Knight!”
Me: “I was thinking more like, uh, Roger, and maybe, you know, Timothy, or something.”
DM: (long pause)
DM: “l think you’re going to need a lot of my help, Dad.”
Very Vocal Viking 