Fill Up

Wedding reception. I ask for a Jack and Coke.

Bartender says, “Oops, there’s no room left for Coke. Is that OK?”

Yes ma’am, that is OK. Very Ok.

Love and Marriage

Love is turning the water temperature way down in your shower because you know your wife is going to take a shower right after you.

Marriage is your wife announcing, after your cold shower, that she’ll just take a shower later when there is more hot water.

Love is not getting mad about it.

Marriage is posting it all online anyway.

My Oldest, age 14: “I forget which one is real… Astronomy or Astrology?”

Me: “Astronomy is science; Astrology is superstition. Don’t EVER confuse them again, or you will get laughed out.”

Oldest: “Laughed out… of… what? My school?”

Me: “This family.”

Oldest: “Alright then.”