Translation

“I’ll grab a little Taco Bell for the drive home.”

TRANSLATION: “I enjoy spraying cheap taco fillings around the interior of my car.”

Breath

Me: “Brush your teeth, Keith. Then it’s off to bed, Fred.”

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “I already did.”

Me: “Go brush them.”

LMT: “I did!”

Me: “I’m serious. Brush your teeth.”

LMT: “BUT I ALREADY DID!”

Me: “Then let me smell your breath.”

LMT: “Fine.” (plods off to brush her teeth)

LMT: “I actually brushed them. Are you happy?”

Me: “That was the goal, yes.”