Little Miss Thing, age 4: “Daddy, read this book to me.”
Me: “Oh, my. Well, you see… that is your mother’s copy of Where the Wild Things Are from when she was your age. Look here! There’s an inscription from grandma and…”
LMT: “Just read the book.”
Month: July 2014
Mr. Book don’t play
Little Miss Thing, age 4: “May I have gum?”
My Wonderful Wife: “No.”
LMT: “I wasn’t asking you. I was asking… this book.”
Me: “Really? A Book?”
LMT: “Yes. Mr. Book says I can have gum.”
Me: “Mr. Book is not in charge.”
LMT: “You need to talk to Mr. Book.”
Terrified. Clearly.
Me: “I swear by all that is holy if you kids don’t stop fighting…I’ll do something really horrible.”
Little Miss Thing, age 4: “Like what?”
Me: “I don’t know. But it will be really, really horrible.”
Danger Monkey, age 7: “How horrible?”
Me: “I don’t know. Pretty horrible. Maybe I will break you over my knee.”
LMT: “Break me first. I have a wand that will fix it. Seriously. It works.”
Very Vocal Viking 